New friends

[John]

We have just moved in to a new area and not knowing many people got involved with our next door neighbours but the thing is he is now calling around wanting to see my wife as a friend all day he doesnt work and it is now starting to cause problems between my wife and I. I have told her I am going to ask him not to come around unless Im in, she just thinks I am being awkward but I dont think it is healthy.

[Tim]

I can understand your problem. Your wife is defending the indefensible. Perhaps you might ask your wife how she might feel if a woman was dropping by to see you every day whilst she was out working. Also ask her how she would feel if you just dismissed her feelings in such a cavalier fashion as she dismisses yours.

And don't accept an answer ('what, don't you trust me?") that implies that she is more trusting and trustworthy than you are. That's a classic shift of blame.

Your wife needs to grow up and act more maturely and be more sensitive to the needs of a healthy loving relationship.

[Paula]

I'd ask why he keeps coming round and if possible try to drop back home at odd times once in a while, why dosn't she want to get a job anyway, even part time Check it out it will cause you no end of problems if you let it carry on, these things have a habit of starting off as nothing then moving up a gear its not about trust, I know!