Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:32 pm Post subject: My friend beat up her daughter!
So, i took my two sons and my 3 year old daughter to a friends house. My friend is someone i met at the child psycology unit (my daughter is adopted) and her daughter has an Anxiety Disorder, GAD. Anyway she also has a 9 year old son who is in my sons class. Her son came around after school and i noticed he had a line shaped bruise of the back of his neck.
So at her house i came in and we sat down at the table and she asked her daughter to make us some coffee. Her daughter is 14, and scurried off into the kitchen and made coffee. She then came back and put it on the table, one of the cups fell and spilt over the table. I was quick enough to catch the cup and stop the coffee from going on the carpet. However i went to get a cloth, and my friend said that her daughter made the mess and she had to clear it up. After this she sent her to her room. Her son came down, and asked my boys if they wanted to play in the garden and they did so they went out back to play. She then made dinner and called the boys in to wash their hands. Her son didn't use hot water as he thought it might burn his hands so she took him in the gardena dn rubbed his hands in the dirt. She then put his food on the floor and made him eat it there. She refused her daughter dinner, and when her daughter came down to do her homework, she slapped her around the face. She ran off crying and didn't come down all night. MY 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER fell over and cried when i was in the toilet and MY FRIEND yelled at her for crying, i said to her that it was out of order and we left.
Now she phoned me up asking if i wanted to come over as if she never yelled at my daughter, i said i would as i am worried about her daughter, she has a mental health problem...
Any advice
I no expert, but I beg of you to please contact the police and tell them what you know of the situation!
They might investigate the situation or they may contact child services or something like that?
You can't stand by and allow this woman to abuse her children!!!
No matter how uncomfortable you might feel reporting it, or no matter how good of friends you may consider this woman to be you CAN NOT stand back while she abuses her children!!!
Please for the safety of these children you need to report this immediately!!!
Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:49 am Post subject: Re: My friend beat up her daughter!
Help Needed wrote:
So, i took my two sons and my 3 year old daughter to a friends house. My friend is someone i met at the child psycology unit (my daughter is adopted) and her daughter has an Anxiety Disorder, GAD. Anyway she also has a 9 year old son who is in my sons class. Her son came around after school and i noticed he had a line shaped bruise of the back of his neck.
So at her house i came in and we sat down at the table and she asked her daughter to make us some coffee. Her daughter is 14, and scurried off into the kitchen and made coffee. She then came back and put it on the table, one of the cups fell and spilt over the table. I was quick enough to catch the cup and stop the coffee from going on the carpet. However i went to get a cloth, and my friend said that her daughter made the mess and she had to clear it up. After this she sent her to her room. Her son came down, and asked my boys if they wanted to play in the garden and they did so they went out back to play. She then made dinner and called the boys in to wash their hands. Her son didn't use hot water as he thought it might burn his hands so she took him in the gardena dn rubbed his hands in the dirt. She then put his food on the floor and made him eat it there. She refused her daughter dinner, and when her daughter came down to do her homework, she slapped her around the face. She ran off crying and didn't come down all night. MY 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER fell over and cried when i was in the toilet and MY FRIEND yelled at her for crying, i said to her that it was out of order and we left.
Now she phoned me up asking if i wanted to come over as if she never yelled at my daughter, i said i would as i am worried about her daughter, she has a mental health problem...
Any advice
If this happened in my prescence, I would voice myself firmly but as a friend that I am concerned over her reaction and how counter-productive it is to do that to a child. I would offer a hand to help her and ask if she is feeling overwhelmed and reiterate how often our own parents have done things in their frustrations that they later regretted but which as adults we still have painful memories of and that surely is not what this other women would intend for her own daughter. Get her to sympathize in the first-perspective with her own daughter and at the same time know that she's got a potential friend that while raised a voice of concern did so in loving kindness--all while making her more consentience of her actions and responsbile for them.
Assuming this is real, it would be fair to say that this other woman seems a bit in need of counselling and help managing her own emotional issues. Slapping a kid around the face and humiliating her in public, to add insult to injury, is enough to give anyone anxiety.
I hope this is a joke. If not, and this behavior persisted after that talk wit her, then I would hope the OP would call the child protective services (CPS) or the psychology unit where she met her so-called frined.
It has been a while since the OP made this thread, and if she is reading it, please give us an update.
As a man, my first instinct would be to slap a parent around a bit in seeing that, and I have seen this once before and with great claim firmly stopped a friend that was way too rough with his son and spoke to him as a friend. At the time, he and his family were having a horribly financial difficulty and after the talk he became aware of where his own impatience was coming from and felt horribly afterwards about what he had done.
I think it would be the wrong approach to take a hostile stance with the parent, as it would only put them on the defensive and may even escalate the situation. Showing them there is someone else who cares is far more likely to get to their hearts and minds more powerfully.
And if that had failed with this friend and I saw him then taking it out on his son still, without hesitation I would have called the police.
Children need a voice and people to stand up for them, even if that someone is outside the family and feels they have no right to interfere. Bullocks or bullshit depending on where you are to that I say. Stand-up for that child!
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