I cant imagine how it feels to be seperated from your children and feel for all those who are but wish to be with them. Like the colonel tho I get a bit of a 'men and kids isnt as important kind of vibe' from some of these posts.
I'm not sure its meant that way but it comes across like that. Comments like 'I love my kids' dad and I know how much he loves the kids, but no matter what I wouldn't let him have full custady. ' and 'most men dont have a clue' are pretty dismissive, unkind and in many cases untrue.
It portrays men to be useless and incapable in regards to children. If this is your personel experience of 'a' man thats fine but dont tarnish all men with the useless brush. I also feel like i wanna add that theres plenty of S*** mums out there too.
Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 3:37 am Post subject: i too dont live with my child
10 yrs ago i broke up with my ex and we had a 2 yr old boy. As i broke my ex's heart he thought he would break mine and take my son away from me. I had a very bad up bringing and he convinced me that if i had my child i too would be cruel to him. I had not dealt with my childhood issues and i believed him. My worst fear was to bring up my children the way i was brought up i have not become that person but back then i did not have enough faith in myself and i thought at the time it was best for my child to live with his father. Now being strong woman that i have become my biggest regret was not believing in myself
for 2 yrs i believed that i was the only mother in the world that didnt have their child living with them as the courts do not offer support. i now have become aware that i not alone. it really hurts when you tell people about your situation and they think you have either bashed your child or worse.
not every sisuation is the same. the sad thing is that when you want to talk to some one there is no one that is qualified that is in the same boat and has empathy for my situation. no one can unerstand the pain when they not in same situation. more support needs to be avalible. lets hope with this website things will start to get the ball rolling and they can see there is a need for help for us mums
Joined: 20 Aug 2007 Posts: 7149 Location: Hampshire/Yorkshire
Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 9:05 am Post subject: Re: i too dont live with my child
i love my child wrote:
10 yrs ago i broke up with my ex and we had a 2 yr old boy. As i broke my ex's heart he thought he would break mine and take my son away from me. I had a very bad up bringing and he convinced me that if i had my child i too would be cruel to him. I had not dealt with my childhood issues and i believed him. My worst fear was to bring up my children the way i was brought up i have not become that person but back then i did not have enough faith in myself and i thought at the time it was best for my child to live with his father. Now being strong woman that i have become my biggest regret was not believing in myself
for 2 yrs i believed that i was the only mother in the world that didnt have their child living with them as the courts do not offer support. i now have become aware that i not alone. it really hurts when you tell people about your situation and they think you have either bashed your child or worse.
not every sisuation is the same. the sad thing is that when you want to talk to some one there is no one that is qualified that is in the same boat and has empathy for my situation. no one can unerstand the pain when they not in same situation. more support needs to be avalible. lets hope with this website things will start to get the ball rolling and they can see there is a need for help for us mums
And what about for dads?
You realise that were I ever to divorce (I hope I won't) despite the fact I have provided for my kids, taught them, given them the best things I could, love them and care for them and so much more over the years...
a judge's first decision is whether I, their father, despite all I've done and would unquestionably continue to do, should have any contact with my kids. (And many good fathers are refused contact even when their ex-wife/partner speaks up for them and wants them to see their kids!!!!)
For a mother, it tends to be automatic. The decision is essentially already made before the man gets to court.
Dad's are the neglected ones, but no-one cares. Why not? Because we are male.
Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 11:27 am Post subject: Re: i too dont live with my child
The Colonel wrote:
i love my child wrote:
10 yrs ago i broke up with my ex and we had a 2 yr old boy. As i broke my ex's heart he thought he would break mine and take my son away from me. I had a very bad up bringing and he convinced me that if i had my child i too would be cruel to him. I had not dealt with my childhood issues and i believed him. My worst fear was to bring up my children the way i was brought up i have not become that person but back then i did not have enough faith in myself and i thought at the time it was best for my child to live with his father. Now being strong woman that i have become my biggest regret was not believing in myself
for 2 yrs i believed that i was the only mother in the world that didnt have their child living with them as the courts do not offer support. i now have become aware that i not alone. it really hurts when you tell people about your situation and they think you have either bashed your child or worse.
not every sisuation is the same. the sad thing is that when you want to talk to some one there is no one that is qualified that is in the same boat and has empathy for my situation. no one can unerstand the pain when they not in same situation. more support needs to be avalible. lets hope with this website things will start to get the ball rolling and they can see there is a need for help for us mums
And what about for dads?
You realise that were I ever to divorce (I hope I won't) despite the fact I have provided for my kids, taught them, given them the best things I could, love them and care for them and so much more over the years...
a judge's first decision is whether I, their father, despite all I've done and would unquestionably continue to do, should have any contact with my kids. (And many good fathers are refused contact even when their ex-wife/partner speaks up for them and wants them to see their kids!!!!)
For a mother, it tends to be automatic. The decision is essentially already made before the man gets to court.
Dad's are the neglected ones, but no-one cares. Why not? Because we are male.
Females would never be treated the same way.
there is so much support for fathers, that dont have custody! believe that.
it is not always the case that mothers get the child and fathers dont, it usually is the one with the better lawyer and that the biggest crime i think.
i too hope that you are never in the situation where you have to worry about the stress and problems that i face every day. it is not some thing i wish upon any one.
to never have taken your child to school is not a pain any one male or female should be put through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Site Map
FAQ
Usergroups
Search
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
Register
My Profile Space
i have not become that person but back then i did not have enough faith in myself and i thought at the time it was best for my child to live with his father. Now being strong woman that i have become my biggest regret was not believing in myself 
