Affairs - how to tell??

[Feanor]

I have leraned a great deal over the last week in these excellent forums. Sadly one of them is that I no longer love my wife and the feeling is mutual.

I am beginning to think that she is having an affair and it really doesn't bother me - that is really sad I know.

However what are the signs?

She now does the following: often rushes in an immediately washes her clothes (she has tons of clothes); always texting (which she nevr did do) and e-mailing a friend late into the night.

I know you ladies may not be willing to share on this one so I don't expect any replies.

[Tim]

How does he tell?
He finds her in bed with someone else.

How does she tell?
He talks to her/doesn't talk to her
Its in her horoscope
He is late/early home from work
He has a new sexual technique
He 'acts' 'different'
She just 'knows'
He denies it when she asks
He changes his socks and underpants every day
He buys a new shirt
Her 'friend' says so
Britain declares war on Iraq
Its raining
The price of bread goes up
etc
etc
etc

[Janey]

[Feanor]

Hey Janey - I have been having an affair for years even though I didn't know it. I change my socks and underpants sometimes twice daily and I often have two showers a day.

[Tracey]

[Feanor]

Janey - I was just of off the shower but maybe I won't now. I promise not to change my socks or underwear for a fortnight and give you an update.

I suppose one sign of your partner having an affair is that they suddenly start smiling (not at me of course) and singing.

[Feanor]

Sorry Tracey as you probably know your are not Janey. You see I have had my shower yet and amalerady hallucinating - its the smell of bleach form housework