No win situation

[Cara]

Hubby and I emigrated to Australia last November and things have gone really well. I got a good job, we've just found a lovely house to rent and, apart from the fact that MrH is back in the UK sorting all our posessions out, everything was perfect.

Until Saturday night I had only two friends in this vast new country I now live in. They're a couple we'd vaguely met once in the UK but we hooked up over here because the 'she' of the couple is the sister-in-law (husband's sister) of my best mate back home. They've both been extraordinarily kind and generous to us since we arrived, taking us out, letting us stay with them for short periods, including over Christmas, supportive, full of information advice and great fun to be with etc. In short, the four of us became close friends very quickly.

I went out with them Saturday night and stayed over at theirs, as has become the norm over the last few weekends. She went to bed and I sat out in the garden with him chatting. After a couple of hours he starts telling me he's attracted to me, that he finds me sexy and would love to F****me, yada yada.

Shocked! I was totally shocked. Obviously I said no way, wasn't going to happen, not least because it was hardly the appropriate way to repay the kindness his wife especially had shown. But it didn't stop him trying to kiss me. Again, I pushed him away and made it clear that it was a non-starter, but as I did so I looked up and guess who was standing there.....Yep, the missus. S***.

I went to bed, got up the next morning and she cut me absolutely dead and went out. He got up and couldn't remember a thing. Had no idea why she was so pissed off and I was so upset and was horrified at himself when I filled him in.

He called me last night to say they'd talked it out and, though not exactly happy about things, they were ok. I on the other hand was absolutely persona non grata.

I feel like I was put, unwillingly and unexpectedly, in an impossible situation. Had I not rejected him I would have been the bad guy. But I did reject him and I'm still the bad guy. He's very apologetic and feels terrible for putting me in that situation, but that doesn't really help any.

I'm totally shaken by all this. Don't know what to think. Veering madly between hurt, upset, angry, livid and quite unbearably lonely. Everything was going so well and I feel like this has really brought me back down to earth with a bump.

To make things worse, best mate and husband (her sister-in-law and brother) are coming out for three weeks in May and we'd all been looking forward to it so much. It really will be the holiday of a lifetime for them, and this is really going to be awkward for all concerned.

Dunno why I'm posting this really. Think I just needed to get it off my chest. MrH is obviously totally supportive of my situation, but is sad about the loss of friends. And he's so far away and I so need a cuddle.

[artsy]

I had a similar situation happen to me. I moved to Toronto (I live in Can) on my own and met this really cool girl, Jenn, in my first year of art school. I knew no one here and altho she was here with her boyfriend she had no girlfriends either. We hung out and had a great time. I was often over at their apt and we all went out together quite often. One Sat night I went to her place for a planned night out but when I got there she wasn't home. Robin, her boyfriend, was livid because she was at a neighbor's apt partying. Jenn tended to lose it a bit when she drank and didn't really make very good judgement calls. The guys she was partying with were a bunch of skin heads, she was plastered and so was Robin. He asked me to go and get her to come home. I tried, numerous times, but she wouldn't listen. I finally told Robin I'd had enough of their fighting and he would have to deal with her himself. i laid down on the couch (it was now around 3am and I lived on the other side of the city) to have a sleep and wait for the sun to come up before I ventured out to go home. I wasn't asleep long when I felt a weight on top of me. Drunk Robin was laying on me and trying to kiss me!!! I couldn't believe it! I shoved him off of me and screamed at him 'What do you think you're doing?' He said that since Jenn was partying with the skin heads doing Lord knows what he thought he and I could have some fun. "So your idea of fun is feeling me up when I'm asleep?" I yelled. "you 2 are a mess!" and out the door I went, at 5am into the scary city to wait for an hour for a streetcar, by myself, in a bad area of town.

I never told Jenn what happened but got the cold shoulder from her from that day on. I assume Robin made up his own story for her. I honestly just never wanted to see or speak to either of them again. That was the end of our friendship and frankly, I couldn't care less.

what did this teach me? that there are slimy guys everywhere and their women are bound to stick by them regardless.

Don't worry about that couple in Australia. You'll find new friends just as I have in Toronto.